Sunday, June 5, 2011


zen. noun. Complete and absolute peace.

It has taken a while to get to this point, but I am finally here. I can finally say that although I have been on a long and difficult journey trying to stay pregnant I am at peace about using a gestational carrier. My Dr. here in the U.S. has diagnosed me with an immune issue where my body is attacking its own cells and I have had a total of five miscarriages in a row in the past three years, but on a positive note we seem to make great quality embryos that make it to the blastocyst stage. I could undergo extensive immune treatment here in the States, but Brian and I agreed that we have no idea what type of impact or long term side effects these drugs will have on my body or overall health. What's more I am honestly tired of treatments and I am tired of putting my body through miscarriage after miscarriage. I have tried everything from Predisone, Dexthamethasone to Lovenox. The only reason I would undergo IVF again is strictly to create more embryos to transfer into a Gestational Surrogate.

Regarding India, we have finally chosen a Dr. and clinic!!! We have 9 frozen embryos, and we will be shipping them to India via Greg at Core Cryolabs at the end of the summer. Although I can't seem to carry a baby to full term, I am thankful for the gestational surrogacy options in India that will still allow me to have a biological child, even if he/she grew in my heart. Congrats to Chai Baby and Gemma on the birth of their adorable twins, and congrats to Sequined Saree Dreams on your recent Big Fat Positive!