Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
So, for the past couple of weeks I have been soul searching and praying about what our next steps should be. We have 7 frozen embryos from our recent fresh IVF cycle, which ended in my 5th consecutive miscarriage. We also have two frozen embryos from a previous fresh IVF cycle done last year, so that's a total of 9 frozen embryos. In my heart of hearts I can tell you I am tired of going through miscarriage after miscarriage. They are physically and emotionally taxing on the body. In my heart of hearts I can tell you Brian and I are realists and as we are about to kiss our mid thirties good-bye we know that we are truly blessed to have these embryos that have been frozen at the blastocyst stage.
Brian has told me that he feels my pain and can't stand watching me go through loss after loss. I have the option of going through an FET here in the USA, but why? The last FET I did last May ended in miscarriage after two strong betas. I know that anything can happen and miracles do happen but, I have decided to listen to my body for now. I have decided to step out on FAITH and pursue Gestational Surrogacy in India.
Does this mean that as a woman I don't want to experience pregnancy? Of course not. Is it the end of the world if I don't? Absolutely not!! What is most important is becoming a parent whether our embryos grow in my womb or in my heart. Since my body keeps rejecting my own tissue, in the future I have the option of pursuing Donor Eggs (where the eggs of a younger fertile woman and Brian's sperm are transferred into my womb) to experience pregnancy up until the age of 55. At this point in our lives, Brian and I realize and both strongly agree that Gestational Surrogacy is going to give us the best option of trying to have a biological child.
I believe God has placed a desire in my heart to have children. I believe I will have children although it may not be the way that I planned. Lord knows I did not plan on pursuing Gestational Surrogacy in India. When one door closes I believe another door opens. I have contacted Greg from Core Cryo Labs and he was very prompt and detailed with his response. I know with him my snow babies will be in good hands. I have an appointment with my Fertility Dr. to discuss my next steps and I am going to tell him I am stepping out on FAITH through a new door, a new door of opportunity in India....